Posted by: alwaysrkp | April 8, 2009

Wifey Wednesday

Wifey Wednesday

Here’s my response to Sheila’s  Multi-Tasking Mama’s Wifey Wednesday blog

We have had an enormous amount of stress the last 16 months…and the longer it has gone on, well, the more testy people get.  I try to remember that I do not want to add to my man’s stress by talking in an ill tone.  On occasion, however, he will let me know that I snapped at him – and sometimes I even realize it on my own.   I am learning to meekly apologize (even if he was testy to me before my outburst) and ask the Lord to help me be more loving and positive.  I am improving, albeit slowly (and the slowly part is mostly hormone related!).

I have also learned that there is a time – the right time – to say certain things to my man.  If he is frustrated and I say anything that seems less than “I 100% agree with you” to him – the situation can disintegrate very quickly.  I am learning to hold my suggestions until a later time (especially if he is repentant and looking for advice on how to improve his character).  Not only is his attitude more receptive at that time, but I am no longer “preachy” – I am much more meek and being a good helpmate.

One of the best things that I have learned about responding to my man in moments of conflict is this:  I pray (in my head during the conflict) and ask the Lord to help us.  I ask Him to cause whichever of us is wrong, to see that we are wrong.  I ask Him to help us BOTH see where we are wrong and to help us to meet in the middle.   I ask Him to calm our words and moods and help us to end the conflict in a loving way.

Whenever I do this (which is almost always – on the now rare occasions of conflict) – the conflict is always resolved within minutes and we are once again happy with each other.  When I fail to do this, the conflict and ill moods can go on for hours.

I come from a mother and grandmother who were very head-strong and although they were Christians – having a meek attitude with their husbands was not something that I saw very often.   The Lord has really had to teach me how to be meek and humble.  I have a long way to go but I am working on it.

My husband and I are both reading Nancy Leigh DeMoss’s book:

We are both being convicted about being humble and contrite.  I never realized how much pride is in my heart.

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Responses

  1. I am here from To Love, Honor and Vacuum. I loved what you had to say about being humble! I am very opinionated and have a hard time letting things drop. I need to remember to try to pray when these times come up like you suggested. It is amazing to me how little I pray outside of the obvious: before meals, before bed, at church, etc. Thanks for the challenge!

  2. What a great post (and a great book to recommend too). I think that meek is a great way to describe the attitude we should have with our spouses and others for that matter- submit has always been hard for people to hear.

    Have a great Thursday!
    Melissa


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